What It Means When Your Back Hurts During Sex (And Why You Should Stop Immediately)

As much as sex can be extremely pleasurable, it doesn't come without the occasional pain — especially as you get older. Whereas once upon a time, back in the days of yore (your 20s), you may have been able to go for hours and nail the majority of the positions in "The Kama Sutra," once you get over 40, or if you've had an injury over the years, sex completely void of pain can become less common.

One of those pains that can easily pop up mid-sex is back pain. In fact, according to a 2018 study published in The Lancet, back pain can be so bad that it's the leading cause of disability on the planet. A 2019 study published in the Journal of Physical Therapy Science found that back pain negatively affects people's sex lives in varying degrees for most of those who have this type of pain.

But the problem with back pain during sex — or anything related to sex, for that matter — is the fact that people don't always want to talk to their doctor about what's happening. However, if you let your back pain go, you could end up with complications that you didn't expect. So instead of forcing yourself to endure the pain in the name of sex, when the pain arises, stop immediately. Then, of course, no matter how awkward you may think it might be, you need to talk to your doctor.

If you suffer through enough rounds of back pain during sex, you can eventually reach a point where sex and back pain become so associated in your mind, that you'll simply want to avoid all sexual activity out of fear. Fear, in itself, can be debilitating and cause emotional complications you may not expect. "Chronic back pain is often accompanied by feelings of depression or frustration," Jason M. Highsmith, M.D., FACS told Health Central. 

"Sometimes the emotional turmoil can cause you to avoid physical contact, which only compounds the problem," he added. "The key to overcoming that is to communicate with your partner." The last thing you want, in addition to back pain during sex, is to jeopardize your physical, emotional, and intimate connection. So, if you're not ready to talk to your doctor about it, at least let your partner know what's going on and give them a chance to understand what you're going through. Sex may not be the most important part of a relationship, but it's still pretty far up there on the list. So you want to come clean about your back pain — or any other pain you're experiencing during sex.

If you experience back pain during sex, then you probably already know what positions are most likely to cause pain. Naturally, these are the positions to avoid. However, prior to sex, you also want to get your body ready to perform and exert energy. For example, stretching the area or taking a hot shower beforehand can help. "Sex can be a physical sport," Michael R. Marks, M.D., MBA told WebMD. "If you're taking cold muscles in spasm and going through vigorous activity, you could aggravate it." Be sure to take care of your back afterward too. Icing the painful area to help with inflammation is one good way to do that.

You can also take an ibuprofen before sex. However, if you have a penis, you want to be aware of the fact that erectile dysfunction can be brought on by ibuprofen consumption, orthopedic spine surgeon Hooman Melamed, M.D. told Health Digest. To be on the safe side, taking ibuprofen an hour before sex is the healthiest way to do it, he said. If even after all the steps you've made to remedy your back pain during sex, you still can't find relief, talk to your doctor. Not only can your doctor prescribe something that will help, but they can do an exam and make sure your pain isn't something serious.