9 Tips To Increase Your Libido And Improve Your Sex Life After 50

Some might believe that, as a person's age goes up, their desire for sex tends to trend in the opposite direction. However, that doesn't necessarily have to be the case. According to the American Association of Retired Persons, more than 70% of people between the ages of 65 and 80 have a romantic partner, and more than half of those are sexually active. The same report showed that, among people in their 50s, up to 91% of men and 86% of women were sexually active. 

However, that doesn't mean that there aren't some factors at work that could cool things between the sheets for couples over 50 (via WebMD). Men can be affected by erectile dysfunction, which can be brought on by such conditions as diabetes, heart disease, and high cholesterol. For women, entering menopause can lead to dropped levels of estrogen, resulting in vaginal dryness. Other issues, such as hot flashes and sleep problems, can also cause interest in sex to wane for women. Here are a few things that older couples can try to help reignite that all-important spark.  

Exercising at any age is good for the body, but as a person grows older, it can help in a wide range of ways, including in the bedroom (via the National Council on Aging). Getting regular physical activity can, for starters, raise one's stamina levels, stamina being a key component to good, long-lasting sex. It can also help increase the flow of blood, which can help with erectile issues. Additionally, according to Dr. Myles Spar, exercises such as weightlifting can boost testosterone levels in men.

Women who are experiencing menopause or who are post-menopausal can try a number of different exercises to keep their sexual interest level up and running (via Bonfide). Kegel exercises can aid in vaginal lubrication, which can increase arousal and make achieving orgasm easier. Yoga is another thing that women can attempt to improve their libido, and can also assist in orgasm and painful sex as a result of vaginal dryness. 

As we get older, good nutrition is critical for a number of reasons, but it can be a huge benefit for those looking to kick up their sex lives. According to Dr. Axe, foods that are rich in collagen can help men maintain firmer erections and can firm up the vaginal walls in women. Additionally, healthy, protein-rich foods such as eggs, fish, beef, and chicken can raise serotonin levels, leading to a boost in mood and, by extension, libido. 

In addition to the health benefits of a proper diet, there are certain foods that can actually kickstart your sex drive (via Healthline). Oysters, long the subject of an aphrodisiac urban legend, actually have libido-boosting properties thanks to their high levels of zinc. Oysters and other seafoods, including lobsters and crab, are high in zinc, which can help raise levels of testosterone. Apples, in addition to keeping the doctor away, can help your sex drive thanks to the presence of a flavonoid called quercetin. This flavonoid can aid in circulation and help manage the symptoms of erectile dysfunction.

Stress is known to be a common libido killer. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that, while watching an erotic film, women with high levels of stress had low levels of genital arousal and were more distracted and less engaged by the erotic imagery. Additionally, the Women's Health Network reports that stress can cause cortisol levels to rise, which, in turn, causes libido to decrease. It can also lead to other issues that can affect sex drive, such as weight gain, fatigue, and insomnia. 

One way that couples can manage stress, according to the Cleveland Clinic, is to make sure that both partners in the relationship communicate their sexual needs and make time for sex. By setting aside time in the day, sex can become more of a priority, and stress can, hopefully, be put on hold for the time being. Additionally, couples can consider counseling to help address sexual issues and find ways to manage stress and get things moving in the bedroom again. 

As we get older, our sleep patterns can change (via MedLine Plus). Older people often report having a harder time falling asleep, and that they tend to wake up more during the night. Additionally, the National Institute on Aging reports that insomnia is one of the most common issues plaguing adults over 60. 

This lack of sleep can impact libido, as evidenced by a 2015 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. That study showed that in women, the desire to have sex went up by 14% for every hour of sleep they had. In addition, a 2007 study published in Sleep showed that men who only got four hours of sleep per night had overall lower testosterone levels than men who were able to sleep eight hours or more. The Sleep Foundation suggests practicing good sleep hygiene, making the bedroom a comfortable and relaxing environment, and putting away devices at least 30 minutes before bed can help improve sleep and get your libido humming again.

For women who are going through, or have already gone through, menopause, vaginal dryness can become an issue (via the Mayo Clinic). The condition is caused by a drop in estrogen, which can lead to the vaginal tissues becoming thinner and more irritated. This condition can extend beyond the vagina and event to the external genital area, according to the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists. As a result of this condition, some women have reported even feeling discomfort and pain when doing everyday tasks such as putting on their underwear. 

To treat vaginal dryness, the Mayo Clinic suggests trying moisturizers such as K-Y or Replens that can be inserted into the vagina or around the vulva on a regular basis, or over-the-counter lubricants like Astroglide. Another option could be a vaginal estrogen treatment such as a cream or tablet that can help raise estrogen levels. Discussing your issues with your partner and your healthcare provider can help you decide the best course of treatment. 

Communication is key for any couple looking to have a healthier sexual relationship. According to a 2019 study published in the Journal of Sex Research, couples who talked openly about sex had better orgasms and a greater sense of sexual well-being. For women, the study showed that better communication increased their sense of sexual desire. 

According to Achieve Balance, women after 50 may have different needs or find that it takes different things to make them aroused than when they were younger. Communication can help make their partners understand what intimacy looks like to them now and help avoid misunderstandings and possible hurt feelings. For men over 50, erectile dysfunction can be an issue, and it may take longer to become aroused, particularly if medication is required. Letting your partner know that you want to have sex but need some time for your Viagra to do its thing can help put everyone at ease and reduce any "performance anxiety" in the bedroom.

Declining hormone levels due to menopause can have an impact on libido (via HerKare). Lower levels of estrogen, progesterone, and even testosterone in women can affect sex drive, as well as other libido-killers such as poor sleep and mood imbalances. Medication can help balance out some of these hormonal changes, with estrogen treatments, vaginal inserts, or pills such as ospemifene all being possible solutions to rekindle sexual desire. 

Men can also see their testosterone levels decline as they get older, and testosterone replacement therapy can be a possible solution. According to a 2018 study published in Current Opinion in Urology, 66% of men who received testosterone replacement therapy achieved normal testosterone levels. With those increased levels of testosterone came an improved libido. However, the therapy is not without its risks (via WebMD). The treatments can cause such conditions as benign prostatic hyperplasia or worsen sleep apnea in men who already suffer from it. In more extreme cases, it can even cause prostate cancer.

Alcohol and sex most definitely do not mix. According to WebMD, alcohol can slow down the brain's ability to send messages down the spinal cord, which can make it difficult for men to achieve and maintain an erection. And, over time, excessive drinking can lower testosterone levels, which can affect both erectile function and libido. The Mayo Clinic also reports that alcohol can exacerbate menopause symptoms, such as sleep problems and vasomotor symptoms (i.e., hot flashes and night sweats).  

Cigarettes also do little to help one's performance in the bedroom. A 2022 study published in BJU International revealed that current smokers between the ages of 50 and 75 ran a higher risk of developing a lower sex drive than people who abstained from cigarettes. However, deciding to quit can go a long way to bringing back the romantic spark. A 2020 study published in the International Brazilian Journal of Urology showed that men who quit smoking had increased erectile function versus smokers. 

As your bodies and sexual habits change, you and your partner may want to try getting creative in bed as a means of rekindling some of your dormant passion. If you find that pain or discomfort is what is keeping things cool under the sheets, the American Association of Retired Persons suggests that exploring some pain-free sexual positions may be a good idea. These include easing up on positions that are harder on the joints or using props such as pillows, which might make the process a little more enjoyable. 

In addition to finding ways to make sex more comfortable, older couples can bring their libidos up by getting a bit more experimental. The AARP says that sex toys can be an option for couples who may find standard sex a little more challenging. Different types of vibrators and other devices can offer clitoral and penile stimulation without the pain or discomfort caused by penetrative sex. They can also open both people up to new experiences and new conversations that can make sex interesting and feel brand new all over again.